Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
this is an emotional support booty call
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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