He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
