Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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