I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
