I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
