oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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