if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
