i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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