you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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