I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
