This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
