peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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