just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
