it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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