Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
