Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
