No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
