you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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