Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
