oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
