Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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