things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
