"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
