i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
