u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
