A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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