I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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