That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
