Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
