i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
