Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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