Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
