I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
