Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
porn star boner night. come get it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
