he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
