you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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