i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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