I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
