Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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