btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
