Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
