I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
