I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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