why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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