I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
