Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
