Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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