Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
