Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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