After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
