Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
