a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
