Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
